Tag: Heaven

What about my future?

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Tuesday’s daily prompt was one of the easiest I’ve ever answered. It was as follows:

Write a six-word story about what you think the future holds for you, and then expand on it in a post:

Only God knows what future holds

I find this an enormous comfort. I don’t have to strive anymore, because God’s got it sorted. I have no idea what the future holds, but He does… and he know’s what’s best.

That’s the simple truth. If I were to have a childlike faith, as I should, I should accept this and live by it without wavering. However, I am not as faithful to my father God as he is to me…! This is something I am learning over time, as I make mistakes, or try to have things my way. Were I completely disability and illness free, maybe I would have a husband and children of my own by now… or maybe not! Only God knows things like that, or whether I will ever be stable enough, and have enough support to have a job, and a career, or a husband! I am learning to develop a heart of gratitude for the many, many things I do have, from food, running water, flushing toilet and a roof over my head, a little money in the bank and money in my purse. This makes me in the richest percentage of people in the world. I think sometimes the disability lobby forget these things, though who knows what will continue to unfold with the welfare ‘reforms’. Things may well be completely different in a couple of years… or maybe not. I guess this is part of the reason it is important to trust God for the future. However, it is just as important to trust Him in the present, as I am to live for God now.

My life now also has consequences for the future; my eternal future. On Monday, I published a post about Invisible Illness Awareness week, and the scripture I quoted as helping me through the tough times is also relevant here:

Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory. (Col. 3: 1-4)

Scriptures like this help me keep going through the tough times. I have to admit, I am not superhuman, there are days I struggle so much with physical, emotional or spiritual pain. I am finding things tough at the moment but it helps to know that this isn’t the end though. What I do now will have a bearing on then. Just recently, the last 6 months or so at least, I didn’t see things as clearly as I do now. When things are bad I try to think of others more disabled than me or who have a particular need and pray for them, or to read a devotional by Joni Earekson Tada or a Psalm from my bible. It may be a song, or a prayer on Christian radio. It’s what Tanya Marlow called ‘the truth that comes in sideways’. (I highly recommend her post, which you can read here) I’m off to find some of that now to help me get back to sleep. I got a few hours rest before midnight but have been awake for at least 3 hours now!

p.s. I can’t remember where I read or heard this, but someone once said life is like a tapestry. We see only the picture on the front, but behind the scenes, at the back of the tapestry is the One who holds all the threads and can see the to bigger picture. One day, I will see the bigger picture too, but for now, I have to live in the present.

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Ever-lasting Joy

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Today’s ‘Daily’ Prompt’ is as follows:

We cry for lots of reasons: sadness, pain, fear . . . and happiness. When was the last time you shed tears of joy?

The short answer to this question is that I have no idea, at all. I hardly ever cry in joy, just because I don’t think of myself as a ‘crier’. I didn’t cry at my friend’s wedding recently. or even my brother’s wedding last year. My heart was soaring with happiness that they had both found lifelong partners they adore, but it does not move me to tears.

It will sound daft, but I’ve had some tweets recently that have caused me to feel thankful, even grateful,as these things were evidence the Lord is using my writing to bring Glory to Himself, which beings me deep down joy. To my mind, this kind of quiet joyfulness is somehow steadier and sweeter. Not a passing moment of joy but a deep down lasting happiness, that pervades everything. The kind of happiness that a relationship with Jesus brings. Knowing I don’t have to face everything alone. Times when I do silly things like have freak accidents with wheelchairs, I can be thankful, even joyful that it was not worse. It also enables me to see the funny side of very tough situations, like the front wheel of my electric wheelchair ending up in the shoe rack (don’t ask!! I don’t know either). This kind of quiet joyfulness is cultivated one day at a time as I learn to trust God that He can see the bigger picture, and can do more than I could ask or imagine. One day, I will know the greatest joy, ‘perfect peace, earthly pain finally will cease’ say the words from Tim Hughes version of “Happy Day”. I can be joyful because I can trust that God that this is true, one day I will be in Heaven with Jesus and I will know lasting joy. Until then, I will continue to try to find laughter in the mundane and happiness in the lasting things, and joy as I wheel beside Jesus on the path he has set before me.

When I get to Heaven…

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When I get to heaven, what will I see? Who will I see? Where will I be, and who will I want to talk to first? The first bit’s easy of course. There is only one face to look for, to see out, and when I see Him to fall flat on my face. “My child, he will say… at last, we meet”. Many times, I came oh so close, but You decided I wasn’t ready. The time You call me though, then I will be ready, perfectly ready, then I truly will be home. No more watching, waiting, wondering, just peace, and rest, and joy. For all I don’t know what I will see, I know there will be lots of light, and air, and space, lots of joy and laughter, and yes, I imagine there will be singing, of course, hymns of praise to Jesus, for without Him we would all be lost. This is the place that He had gone before us to prepare. I don’t believe though that all we’ll do is float on clouds all day and sing. No, I reckon there will be far more to heaven than that. Busyness, and industry, lots of work to be done. Everyone will have His or Her own job to do. Finally, I will be able to work, I will have a purpose only I can fill, just like here, but I will finally have the energy to work.

Not only will I work, but there will be nothing my new body cannot do. I will not walk, I will run in freedom for the first time. Not only will I walk, I will dance. Not a waltz, not a two-step, but jive and quick step and tango, keeping up with every step, no pain, only joy. No need to coax my body into even one of the steps. It will just know what to do, fluidly and fluently, in perfect time to the music. Oh there will be music, of course there will be. Every kind and type of instrument and type of music you can think of. I bet I know who will be heading up the orchestra and leading the dancing: King David!

You and me, Jesus, finally we get to dance. Dancing, twirling, twirling, as though no-one was watching, (as the song goes…) Me, beautiful, wearing the finest dress… once had to cover all scars, bags and wheels, and now all of that is no more. Gone, in an instant, the second before I left the earth. You only see me. Created, as I am, in your image.  You and me, nothing else matters. Crown on my head, and jewels on my writs, sparkling as we dance, twinkling in the light

I see only what matters. All around me is vivid. The dewy grass, beauty all around me, the space, the air, the sun. People all around us joining in, even people who before, had never walked, even imperfectly, or who had lost the ability to. All restored to how You intended it. It will never rust, spoil or fade. And all of it will all be worth it! So very, very worth it.

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Witten for the “Weekly writing challenge“, and adapted from an earlier post.

Dancing Queen

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At first, I had some difficulty thinking of a particular skill for today’s daily prompt. Then it hit me. I have always always I want to be able to dance. I remember school discos in embarrassment. Scottish country dancing practice in physical education was much worse as I was forced 2 dance with my 121 helpers when the whole thing was difficult enough. This was a reminder of just how uncoordinated I was. On top of that none of the boys would dance with me.
This didn’t change much as I got older. While I was at university I went to so many ceilidhs that to my surprise, I I began to learn steps. The encouragement of most of the boys was an added bonus. Each time I danced with on ofthem often they would slow their pace and tell me I was doing great. Meanwhile, the other girls would be spun around at breakneck speed, often hurtling to the floor, resulting in ‘Chinese burns on their arms.
Many years have passed and I have gradually forgotten the steps. Fortunately occasions when I need them are few and far between these days. I would still love to be able to dance properly. Several years ago I was at a conference where there was a teenage dance group. One of the girls was partially disabled as a consequence of physical abuse. However, she danced so fluently and with such skill that you soon forgot her disability and l was left awestruck. Her perfomace was the highlight of the day for many and left them in tears. How I longed to be able to dance like her.
This longing have never left me but surprisingly increased as the years have passed. I am comforted by the fact that one day Jesus will give me a new body. I will never feel any pain or age and will have no limitations. I cannot wait for that day when I will finally now what it feels like to be able to dance like that. I cannot wait. Of course Jesus gets the first dance!

Introduction to (my) faith, and disability

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This is my response to the daily prompt for 29/12/12: “Tell us about the role faith plays in your life-or doesn’t”. This is a MASSIVE question for me. Hopefully even occasional readers of my blog realise my Christian faith is a major part of my life, right from the beginning of my days. However, it’s not just my parents faith, but my own personal faith.

In the beginning…

I believe that I am created by a Father God who crafted me and knit me together in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139) 13-15 I am made in His image, that is, I show some characteristics of God because he made me. I believe He is a God who does not make mistakes, therefore, he knew what he was doing when he made me. He knew more than that. “All the days of my life were written in His Book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16 ) So if God knew what my life would be, did he create my disability, or did he just “allow it?” Is it just one of those things that ‘happens’? I have a lot of unanswered questions about why I have been through all that I have, not just having a disability, but being ill and unable to work as well, in pain the majority of the time and therefore requiring an electric wheelchair to get around, as well as all the normal ‘life’ stuff. (If you’d like to read more, see earlier post: Introduction to Illness and Disability).

Sometimes I have some answers, and sometimes I wonder why this, why then, when will this end? I won’t have answers to my questions until I am in Heaven. For now, however hard it is, I only see dimly. People have asked me before, how can I believe in God even though I have a disability? Well if I’m thinking straight, I think of it this way… How can I not? I have a constant reminder that by myself, on my own, I am weak, I need God to help me get through each day, to help me persevere through al that goes on. When I am weak, God is strong (2 Corinthians 12: 11).

What is this faith thing, anyway?

I believe that all the bad things I do, hurtful actions, sharp words, lustful thoughts and (all the rest!) are a barrier between me and a perfect God who cannot be contaminated by contact with my diseased soul, covered in grime from all the bad things I’ve done. However, because God loves everyone he has made, there had to be a sacrifice to make up for all the bad things I’ve done. Enter Jesus. It was while I was still a sinner, that Jesus died for me (2 Corinthians 12:10)

I believe that once Jesus grew up, when he was roughly 33 years old, he was an innocent man. who was tried and crucified for all the bad things I’ve done. He took the punishment I deserve and died in my place, bridging the gap between me and God, making me  God’s child, and He my Heavenly Father.  (see John 3: 16 and 17)  I’m fortunate to have an earthly father who I love and cherish  and a heavenly father who created me. loves me, and who sent his Son to die for me to bridge the gap. Because of what Jesus did for me on the cross, I want to honour him by mirroring him, doing what Jesus would do and therefore showing the world who Jesus is.

So, what does all this mean for me, personally?

This means choosing to do the right thing even when I’m tired or in pain…. not moaning or complaining (I still do though! ). I don’t do things on my own. Jesus helps me. There’s a verse in the bible I love which explain the connection between what I believe, and my disability. If you only look at us, (me) you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious  Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to prevent anyone from confusing God’s incomparable power with us. (1 Corinthians 4:7) . Basically  it’s God who powers me, who gives me the energy, I can’t do it by myself, but because God powers me, the credit goes to Him.