When I get to Heaven…

When I get to heaven, what will I see? Who will I see? Where will I be, and who will I want to talk to first? The first bit’s easy of course. There is only one face to look for, to see out, and when I see Him to fall flat on my face. “My child, he will say… at last, we meet”. Many times, I came oh so close, but You decided I wasn’t ready. The time You call me though, then I will be ready, perfectly ready, then I truly will be home. No more watching, waiting, wondering, just peace, and rest, and joy. For all I don’t know what I will see, I know there will be lots of light, and air, and space, lots of joy and laughter, and yes, I imagine there will be singing, of course, hymns of praise to Jesus, for without Him we would all be lost. This is the place that He had gone before us to prepare. I don’t believe though that all we’ll do is float on clouds all day and sing. No, I reckon there will be far more to heaven than that. Busyness, and industry, lots of work to be done. Everyone will have His or Her own job to do. Finally, I will be able to work, I will have a purpose only I can fill, just like here, but I will finally have the energy to work.

Not only will I work, but there will be nothing my new body cannot do. I will not walk, I will run in freedom for the first time. Not only will I walk, I will dance. Not a waltz, not a two-step, but jive and quick step and tango, keeping up with every step, no pain, only joy. No need to coax my body into even one of the steps. It will just know what to do, fluidly and fluently, in perfect time to the music. Oh there will be music, of course there will be. Every kind and type of instrument and type of music you can think of. I bet I know who will be heading up the orchestra and leading the dancing: King David!

You and me, Jesus, finally we get to dance. Dancing, twirling, twirling, as though no-one was watching, (as the song goes…) Me, beautiful, wearing the finest dress… once had to cover all scars, bags and wheels, and now all of that is no more. Gone, in an instant, the second before I left the earth. You only see me. Created, as I am, in your image.  You and me, nothing else matters. Crown on my head, and jewels on my writs, sparkling as we dance, twinkling in the light

I see only what matters. All around me is vivid. The dewy grass, beauty all around me, the space, the air, the sun. People all around us joining in, even people who before, had never walked, even imperfectly, or who had lost the ability to. All restored to how You intended it. It will never rust, spoil or fade. And all of it will all be worth it! So very, very worth it.


Witten for the “Weekly writing challenge“, and adapted from an earlier post.

An Update on a post from September 2012…

The following post is an update on the story of four Christians who took their discrimination cases to the European court of human rights. I first blogged about it back in September last year. For background on the story, read the original news story of which I wrote. I promised to blog again once the verdict had been announced, so here goes…

The verdict of the judges was that they only found in favour of one of the cases, and for me it was somewhat odd. Two of the stories, regarding wearing crosses, were similar. Why find in favour of one, and not the other? My reasoning for not taking these cases that seriously, is that for me, wearing a cross is not a central part of how I choose to express my faith, and that’s just it, it isn’t a requirement it’s personal choice and can therefore be removed if necessary. I have other reasons for thinking this way, which you can read previous post.

As for the other two cases, I have just finished reading a press release from The Evangelical Alliance in which they chose to concentrate on their reaction to, what for them was the most significant case, that of Lilian Leasdale, a registrar who asked not to officiate at st her case same-sex ceremonies as it went against her beliefs. I believe I judged her case too harshly at the time, and in large part agree with what the Evangelical Alliance said, in terms of the courts needing to understand better what 24:7 lived out Christian faith looks like and how it interacts with society. However, this too is different for every individual,  and to my mind is therefore a minefield for the courts. Relying on what they think Christian faith looks like or should look like however, isn’t good enough, a balance needs to be found.

The Evangelical Alliance also acknowledge the difficulty of judging in such cases in a way that does not prejudice either side. I get all of that, but still feel this will give those who support the judges ruling more opportunity to speak against the position of the likes of the Evangelical Alliance, potentially doing more harm than good, as was my opinion  at the time. I am unsure what the way forward is for those, including myself  whose faith permeates every aspect of their lives, or should do, at least. How do we honour, and hold to what we believe, obeying God’s word, the Bible, and God himself, while being careful not to antagonise others unnecessarily or to sound as though the needle on the record is stuck? Reaching out in love would certainly be a start. I will certainly be praying for the four Christians whose cases were decided today, that they will clearly know what do next, and react in a way that brings the honour and the glory to God, which is what the Church, God’s people, should be doing anyway.

Introduction to (my) faith, and disability

This is my response to the daily prompt for 29/12/12: “Tell us about the role faith plays in your life-or doesn’t”. This is a MASSIVE question for me. Hopefully even occasional readers of my blog realise my Christian faith is a major part of my life, right from the beginning of my days. However, it’s not just my parents faith, but my own personal faith.

In the beginning…

I believe that I am created by a Father God who crafted me and knit me together in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139) 13-15 I am made in His image, that is, I show some characteristics of God because he made me. I believe He is a God who does not make mistakes, therefore, he knew what he was doing when he made me. He knew more than that. “All the days of my life were written in His Book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16 ) So if God knew what my life would be, did he create my disability, or did he just “allow it?” Is it just one of those things that ‘happens’? I have a lot of unanswered questions about why I have been through all that I have, not just having a disability, but being ill and unable to work as well, in pain the majority of the time and therefore requiring an electric wheelchair to get around, as well as all the normal ‘life’ stuff. (If you’d like to read more, see earlier post: Introduction to Illness and Disability).

Sometimes I have some answers, and sometimes I wonder why this, why then, when will this end? I won’t have answers to my questions until I am in Heaven. For now, however hard it is, I only see dimly. People have asked me before, how can I believe in God even though I have a disability? Well if I’m thinking straight, I think of it this way… How can I not? I have a constant reminder that by myself, on my own, I am weak, I need God to help me get through each day, to help me persevere through al that goes on. When I am weak, God is strong (2 Corinthians 12: 11).

What is this faith thing, anyway?

I believe that all the bad things I do, hurtful actions, sharp words, lustful thoughts and (all the rest!) are a barrier between me and a perfect God who cannot be contaminated by contact with my diseased soul, covered in grime from all the bad things I’ve done. However, because God loves everyone he has made, there had to be a sacrifice to make up for all the bad things I’ve done. Enter Jesus. It was while I was still a sinner, that Jesus died for me (2 Corinthians 12:10)

I believe that once Jesus grew up, when he was roughly 33 years old, he was an innocent man. who was tried and crucified for all the bad things I’ve done. He took the punishment I deserve and died in my place, bridging the gap between me and God, making me  God’s child, and He my Heavenly Father.  (see John 3: 16 and 17)  I’m fortunate to have an earthly father who I love and cherish  and a heavenly father who created me. loves me, and who sent his Son to die for me to bridge the gap. Because of what Jesus did for me on the cross, I want to honour him by mirroring him, doing what Jesus would do and therefore showing the world who Jesus is.

So, what does all this mean for me, personally?

This means choosing to do the right thing even when I’m tired or in pain…. not moaning or complaining (I still do though! ). I don’t do things on my own. Jesus helps me. There’s a verse in the bible I love which explain the connection between what I believe, and my disability. If you only look at us, (me) you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious  Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to prevent anyone from confusing God’s incomparable power with us. (1 Corinthians 4:7) . Basically  it’s God who powers me, who gives me the energy, I can’t do it by myself, but because God powers me, the credit goes to Him.

BBC News – Pakistan blasphemy case: Imam held over ‘Koran plot’

BBC News – Pakistan blasphemy case: Imam held over ‘Koran plot’.


We prayed for Rimsha  in “prayer and share time on Sunday, and I have been praying for her since. I urge you to pray for her too. I heard an interview on UCB UK this morning with someone from Open Doors suggesting that they hope this young woman may be the tool God uses to overturn, or at least make this law more safe. Please God, may this be true. All I have thought of all day is the verse from 1 Corinthians 1:

27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

May she be freed and returned to her family with no further harm done to her.

For more on this story see:


Lord Jesus, please hear our cries as we ‘stand in the gap’ on behalf of this young woman. May be know your presence and may you take away her fear and give her peace. Thank you for her faith, and we pray you will send angels to protect her and watch over her. May she be freed imminently with no further harm done to her. In your name Jesus, Amen


BBC News – Christians take ‘beliefs’ fight to European Court of Human Rights

BBC News – Christians take ‘beliefs’ fight to European Court of Human Rights.


I wait with interest to see what happens in the case of these four Christians. I thank the BBC for covering it. I am not sure whether it is really a ‘watershed’ moment. For me, too many of those have passed without comment for this to be that important. However, I recognize the outcome of this case is likely to have repercussions. I have some reservations about the cases that have been chosen.


I feel, yet again, that we are making issues of the wrong things and all this is likely to do is get people’s backs up. I do not believe the wearing of the symbol of the cross is of central importance for two reasons: 1) What we do with Jesus is far more important 2) we can live in other, more meaningful ways that bring more honour and glory to Christ than the wearing of a symbol around our necks… We ought instead to “take UP our crosses, and follow HIM.


Also I do not believe either Gary McFarlane (relate counselor) or Lilian Ladele (registrar) have valid cases to bring. Around about the time McFarlane’s case was first brought, I was on a counselling skills course at college. I agree wholeheartedly with the opinion of my Muslim tutor, that if he has such objections he should work for a Christian organisation. In working for relate, he has brought the problems upon himself because relate have a policy of not restricting their counselling services, so neither should Mr Macfarlane. 


As for Lilian Ladele, my opinion is similar to that above; she does not have a case to bring in working for the state, and should have changed vocation when the legislation was brought in. This may be far too simplistic a view, but I feel both those cases will do more harm than good, and just look like the church is banging the same old drum, rather than reaching out in love. 


Over to you…