Category: This was the week that…

An Update on a post from September 2012…

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The following post is an update on the story of four Christians who took their discrimination cases to the European court of human rights. I first blogged about it back in September last year. For background on the story, read the original news story of which I wrote. I promised to blog again once the verdict had been announced, so here goes…

The verdict of the judges was that they only found in favour of one of the cases, and for me it was somewhat odd. Two of the stories, regarding wearing crosses, were similar. Why find in favour of one, and not the other? My reasoning for not taking these cases that seriously, is that for me, wearing a cross is not a central part of how I choose to express my faith, and that’s just it, it isn’t a requirement it’s personal choice and can therefore be removed if necessary. I have other reasons for thinking this way, which you can read previous post.

As for the other two cases, I have just finished reading a press release from The Evangelical Alliance in which they chose to concentrate on their reaction to, what for them was the most significant case, that of Lilian Leasdale, a registrar who asked not to officiate at st her case same-sex ceremonies as it went against her beliefs. I believe I judged her case too harshly at the time, and in large part agree with what the Evangelical Alliance said, in terms of the courts needing to understand better what 24:7 lived out Christian faith looks like and how it interacts with society. However, this too is different for every individual,  and to my mind is therefore a minefield for the courts. Relying on what they think Christian faith looks like or should look like however, isn’t good enough, a balance needs to be found.

The Evangelical Alliance also acknowledge the difficulty of judging in such cases in a way that does not prejudice either side. I get all of that, but still feel this will give those who support the judges ruling more opportunity to speak against the position of the likes of the Evangelical Alliance, potentially doing more harm than good, as was my opinion  at the time. I am unsure what the way forward is for those, including myself  whose faith permeates every aspect of their lives, or should do, at least. How do we honour, and hold to what we believe, obeying God’s word, the Bible, and God himself, while being careful not to antagonise others unnecessarily or to sound as though the needle on the record is stuck? Reaching out in love would certainly be a start. I will certainly be praying for the four Christians whose cases were decided today, that they will clearly know what do next, and react in a way that brings the honour and the glory to God, which is what the Church, God’s people, should be doing anyway.

extra-ordinary ordinaryness

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This is in answer to the daily post from 13/1/13. Would love to know what you think, and how you would describe where you are sat. This is the premise: 

Explore the room you’re in as if you’re seeing it for the first time. Pretend you know nothing. What do you see? Who is the person who lives there?

 

One sneaky glance, what do I see

At first glance, I don’t see anything unusual, just looks like an average living room in an average flat. The sofa splits the room and separates living room and kitchen, instead of a coffee table there is a sleek black circular table, covered in letters and cards from family and friends. There is a small flat screen television in the corner of the room, and in the bottom of the unit on which the television sits is a pile if of papers and magazines and a box of various cards, waiting to be sent as and wen there is need to,

Suddenly there is a vibration and an intrusive sound which refuses to stop. Startled, I wonder what it is, until the person who lives there tips up the noisy box and a few tablets slide out. 

Next to the television is the laptop, screen broken from one too many falls, and a digital radio sits, lifeless, on the unit waiting to be charged, next to the ironing basket with a few clothes waiting to be ironed. Next to that, are many more clothes and bed sheets, haphazardly place on the airier. This takes my eye into the kitchen which makes up the other half of the sitting room. The kitchen too, is crowded. In the taller unit at this far end sit a silver fridge and freezer. Next to that a few things are sat on the unit. On a cake rack sits a fresh bunch of bananas and a loaf of bread. A small weighing sale sits underneath that. Next to the rack is a dried up bunch of Christmas flowers that have seen better days, and a bright red bowl of soup. 

Finally I notice a few other things about the unit, how it is shorter that your average kitchen unit, with an induction cooker hob set into it. At the back of the hob sits a hot water bottle in a spotty cover, and a book of one pot recipes, a small frying pan sat just in front of it. Underneath part of that unit are a full small grey rubbish bin and an almost empty blue tub which serves as laundry basket. The next unit is much emptier, some would say tidier, containing only a black flask and empty plastic container, along with part of a small food processor. 

The rest of the kitchen is more conventional, the small dish rack full of clean dishes, as is the draining rack, the basin empty. The washing machine, with a full drum sits underneath it, and the silver microwave, silent, on the top of the next unit, next to a strange looking kettle and a silver toaster. Finally my eye sports the oven and yet another couple of cupboards. Such a lot to take in. 

None of those say much about the person who sits in the room, silent and half asleep.. A smile on their face, though it does not reach tired eyes. I look at the person more closely, wondering why they’re sat in a big clunky wheelchair. What happened to them to leave them that way? I’m lost in my thoughts as I look into the room, unusually quiet. I think of the room again, which certainly  can’t be described as ‘tidy’. Cozy perhaps, or lived in’. There’s a peacefulness in the room not often found. Just as quietly as I looked into the room, I turn around, slipping out unnoticed, leaving the smiling lady to her slumber.

Two stories, one theme: Disability

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Two disability stories were prominent on BBC Breafast this morning. One, concerned with the creation of disability; strokes occurring in people under 65, all because BCC’s Andrew Marr has had a stroke; and the other that there has been no noticeable take up by disabled people in Paralympic sport after the games. Neither, perhaps is a surprise. 

Discussing Disability: Strokes

Firstly, strokes in people under 65. A dear friend has recently had a stroke, and her Facebook updates continue to amaze me, make me laugh, or make me write something in empathy or encouragement. What stokes have in common with Cerebral Palsy (CP) which I have, is that both result from damage to the brain, meaning that each person is affected differently depending which part or parts of the brain are damaged. This why discerning if people are ‘disabled enough’ to claim benefits or not. It is also why it is hard to gauge how well people ‘recover’, or regain ‘normal’ functioning from strokes. If you would like to read more on why healthy people have strokes, the Beeb have written a feature about it

Disability Sport and the Paralympics: what legacy?

The second story is concerned with disability sport in this post Paralympics era, and comes as no surprise at all to me. Nine in ten clubs saw no noticeable take up in their sport after the Paralympics.The reasons for this are many  and varied. The first comes from disabled people themselves, as pointed out in the BBC’s coverage; you are half as like to participate in sport at all if you are disabled, and if you can find a club near you which can meet you access needs you still need to be able to afford to get there, and have a way of getting there in the first place. Given the squeeze on people’s finances in general, and for disabled people in particular due to benefit ‘reform’, in my opinion this will become more and more unlikely. Of course, the head honchos disagree in terms of take up of participation as Tim Hollingworth argued on BCC Breakfast this morning that due to the success of Paralympics GB’s ‘Parasport’ and specific programs designed to ‘fast-track people to elite level disability sport. He also says that there have been clubs setting up from scratch in the post popular sports such as wheelchair rugby; However, this seems to be masking the real picture. I have pointed out before how the main men are hiding under the success of the games themselves. If you’d like to hear more on legacy, here’s an audio from Discuss winner, John Harris.

At a personal level, why do I not take part in more sport?

I go horse-riding once a week at best, thanks to the generosity of a local social enterprise, and absolutely love it, even in rain or the freezing. I have blogged about the horses before. However. to go horse-riding more often, I would have to go all the way to Middleton, to specialist Riding for the Disabled provision. They have much better facilities, according to someone I met by chance at the social enterprise’s last open day. However, as I cannot afford the taxi fares to get there, and would not have the care time nor the drivers for a notability vehicle. I have no way of getting there, or support while i am there, if anything was to happen to The Bag. 

The second sport I participate in is more mainstream. I have a gym membership that I rarely use. Some of the time this is simply because there are other things to do with my time. The other reason is that I often do not have the energy and therefore need to decide when I realy am to tired and whether I could manage it if I were pushed. I am not able to manage weights machines and things like that, more along the lines of gentle exercise  sometimes swimming, using three machines in the gym, and the toning chairs. However, I am unable to get there on my own because I cannot manage my manual chair; and there are so many difficulties with transport with my electric wheelchair. I am also unable to transfer safely onto machines in the gym without help, and this is often also true for the toning chairs as well.

Techno vs technot

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Never thought I would ever get a smartphone. I never thought I would need one or want one. I also wondered if I would manage to use it. Just a little over a day have managed to use your voice function to compose texts, memos, e-mail and the like. The quality of the word predictions has also helped a great deal and been a pleasant surprise. I had no idea that this kind of technology was so easily available on such a mainstream phone.

Accessibility aside, I have managed to easily download applications including twitter facebook and skype. I’m even managed to use skype to talk to my parents. So lovely to see them even if only on screen. This too has been a surprise I thought I wouldn’t like it.

I love this technology already. However while love letter writing making cards just as much. I love receiving them even more. I love that I can have both.  I am mostly house bound  as many of you know. Little things wake me make such a difference to my week.

And tomorrow a friend is visiting who I haven’t seen for a few months. I am so excited to see her and hear about her forthcoming wedding. I have been just as excited to email friends in America to set up skype dates. I am loving the way my world has suddenly opened up. Long may it continue!

What do you think,? Please write letters it’s a dying art form. After all, aren’t an e-mail and a letter different forms of the same thing?  I would love to know what you think.  I’m  ow off to bed,  but will keep for my smartphone and a notebook beside me because the best ideas are meant to come to you during the night. Not prepared to let any of them escape however I note them down!

how long have I got?!

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Oh my goodness, today’s been one of those days where I haven’t got off my soap box. Spent lunchtime with a new friend waxing lyrical about the state of some parts of the Kirk and the Church, north and south, and how things can be a bad witness and all that… and about the different paths we’re walking and wheeling and where God is in it all, and before that I was on my soapbox about how various MPs, and job-seekers should spend a day with me or one of my wheelchair using friends, cos they’d soon realise the error of their ways, (that’s the hope/dream/delusion!!) 

I got home, and saw yesterday’s daily prompt and my first thought was, it’s one of the ‘I could write nothing, something, or Hundreds of words on!! 

Helplessness: that dull, sick feeling of not being the one at the reins. When did you last feel like that –- and what did you do about it?

The kind of helplessness I often feel is something I am kind of stuck with as in there’s nothing I can do with it, or about it, except learn to live with it and allow it to help mature me. I’m helpless without my six-month old phone, which has just died and death, and I can’t do anything about till Thursday  I was helpless last when uncomfotable with spasms and pain, and no re-positioning the bed would help, until I was so tired, I didnt hear the intercom at all this morning. Fortunately two friends were staying overnight and one of them let the carer in! I often feel helpless about my singleness, as I wrote a day or two ago. So far, I have no control over my singleness, my pain levels, my spasms, my mobile phone; I’d love to work, but don’t have a choice about that either, as I’m just too medial complicated at the moment, and off to kip as soon as this post is done. Though I may have my sixth cup of caffeine today and soldier on! 

So, as there are so many things I feel helpless over, or not it control of, when I can stay calm, how do I do it?? well, as you can see, I love to talk, verbally or in  writing, but the main thing that helps? I remember my Lord Jesus, helpless twice, once as a wee baby, and again on the cross, and all that was for me.  

I also find things to give thanks for, for there are many of those! A saviour who loves me, and who died for me in order than my sin may not be barrier, so that I might be his. A working, customised wheelchair. Healthcare free at the point of need. Food, to the point where I had to make a resolution to lose weight, my friends, and my family. I’m sure there are more. See, starting to feel better already!

friends, family and favourites

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oooh, this is awkward…

Today’s daily post is an awkward question to answer, as I don’t actually have a favourite person, if we’re talking ‘significant other’ as it were. I talked this over with a friend, and they say said, why didn’t I immediately say Jesus was my favourite person?  True enough, that’s what I should have said. As a Christian, I should  put Jesus first, before anyone or anything, my first love. Time I walk away is still harder than time with Him. I can answer the question a different way…

Jesus should be ‘my favourite’?

 

I know, looking back He’s enabled me to me walk through so many difficulties in the past few years. Things I’ve already written about, including failing my teaching degree, being ill and trying to pass a Master’s degree. Add to that, complicated major surgery, becoming a full-time wheelchair user, starting to need carers two-three times a day, and managing The Bag. There’s no way I’d still here without Him and I know He’s there for me every moment of every day, and in the happy moments too. In these times I’m reminded I am to rejoice in everything, and have joy even in the tough times. I’m still learning those things!

As I’ve written before, many of my friends are my favourite people, along with my parents. I still feel quite dependent on them, really. Odd, considering I live independently, and for the most part, have done since 2001,  That said, I owe everything to them, for lots of reasons, and often miss them. My Gran’s another favourite person as we’re quite close, and she’s a kind of mentor to me.

 

waiting

 

Maybe, just maybe

who else? Well… I haven’t met them yet, and they haven’t met me. That is. if there is someone, or if God has something else, something he considers better for me. These things aren’t easy to write. Traditionally, there’s a focus on family, in churches, and usually, Christians who hold similar views to me marry young. My parents try to encourage me with anecdotes of women they know who are older than me and still faithfully waiting for the person God has for them, and if they do not show up, they will not settle for less. Oh how I admire their discipline. I know I don’t want to compromise  but sometimes the temptation is great.

which is ‘better’; single or married?

 

According to some friends I’m good at being perceptive about people in their lives, but by my admission, sometimes hopeless with my own. I’m also aware, if I marry the wrong person, being with them, and coping with all my health problems would be hell. It feels like so much pressure sometimes, and a bit of a relief to stay single. Other times, I’d like the someone special… especially when I look at friends who have found ‘the one’ but at the same time, it hits me that I should keep waiting because it might be worth it eventually. I’m hyper-aware of the tendency to ‘over-share’… enough now.

“Nobody’s child”

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“I don’t remember a lot about my childhood: my very earliest memories are of living in a children’s home when I was about 4 or 5 years old.”

I didn’t remember what my favourite book was till I remembered a box of books in a cupboard. Then I had to go raking. I didn’t remember the title; however, soon as I saw it, I remembered the roller-coaster of emotions I felt reading it. Sadness, tears, loss, love, joy, laughter, they were all there. Not like most of the stories out there about abuse, it’s different from those in a way. The abuse is still there, oh my goodness you can’t forget it, but it’s somehow told in a different way. Perhaps I feel this way because I had the privilege of meeting Jon Robinson, the guy who was the little boy at the beginning of the book.

It’s years since I’ve read this book, and yet, I remember details of the story, which I am going to repeat to you now and not regurgitate the summary on the back of the book. I remember meeting him, remember liking him on first sight, I got the best hug, and we had a brilliant chat. He’s so humble, so unassuming, and yet there’s something compelling about him. When I heard he was speaking I jumped at the chance to go, and have never forgotten it. I’m not sure what he’s doing now. I’d like to find out.

Okay… so this is his story as I remember it. He’s in and out of foster-care and children’s homes most of his childhood. His is not a happy one, there is no story of redemption, at least not yet. I remember reading at the start of the book that other children had visitors on birthdays and holiday times, and he did not. He was the one left distraught. This home was okay. There’s another home I remember reading about where he and the other children were only allowed into their bedrooms when the social workers visited, and that was also the only time they could play with the toys. The rest of the time, they were locked in the cellar. At this particular home there was a wee boy, I think his name was Michael? Anyways, he finds out later that this little lad was his brother, so much later that by the time he knows the poor little lad has died.

Jon also ends up in prison, at least once, though I don’t remember what for. A long time down the story, with the support of his future wife, he asks to read, and reads his social work record. This is one of those stories in which, if like me you had a happy childhood, your eyes will open. If like Jon you were in care most of your childhood, you may well identify with it. Whatever your story, I urge you to read this book. I’m off now to re-read this gem of a book. I promise you, if you read it, it will stay with you forever, like only the best told stories do.

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Today’s daily prompt if you’d also ike to write about your favourite book.

The link to Nobody’s child on Amazon if you’d like to buy it:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Nobodys-Child-Stirring-Story-Unwanted/dp/1854246232/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1357410871&sr=1-3

two days in…

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the days that changed my life

Holding on… Just!

I’ve never seriously made resolutions before, so I’ve never kept any. I’ve recognised things were lacking, such as the lack of discipline in my life, and I’ve fretted over it, at just the same time as a sermon on discipline in the believer’s life began on radio. Spooky… call it fate, call it a God-incidence… but I never seriously acted on it.
Two days in, how’s it going? Well, the third resolution (to write every day) is hanging by a thread! The intention was there, but due to the time difference. the ‘new post’ suggestion wasn’t there before I had to go out. I didn’t have inspiration of my own either as I often do.Once I got back, I fell asleep in my wheelchair for the whole evening… so frustrating! Getting up this early is my way of making up for that!

What about Resolutions one and two?

The other resolutions, to take weight loss seriously, and to have bible/prayer time every day are going ok. When I chose what I was going to eat yesterday, my carer was impressed at my menu choices of cordial and soda, and soup. What she doesn’t know is I finished the banana bread when I got home. Somehow that doesn’t feel so bad because it has a mixture of wholemeal and plain flour in it rather than just plain flour, so I’m sort of excusing it!
I did have Jesus time yesterday, though I kept falling asleep. I kept battling, so that I read a bit before I slept again rather than going straight back to sleep as I would before. Bit of battle already! Unfortunately, that’s how my life is at the moment. Intentional things get done if I manage to stay awake. Not impressed that I lost a whole evening to sleep as I have a fast approaching deadline, but there it is, no going back, only forwards!
Here’s to keeping the three resolutions this year. Just hanging in there. but that will have to do. I’m off back to bed, and hopefully to sleep. Otherwise I’d only raid the fridge again, as I did before I starting writing this. What did I just say about resolutions hanging by a thread?!

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Daily Prompt 2/1/13

’10…, 9…, 8….’

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A picture of a firework just as it explodes into multiple colours in the night sky.

On the stroke of midnight, I was where I (almost) always am. If you’d asked me at midday if I would be where I wanted to be I’d probably had scoffed and said I’d rather be anywhere else, but preferably with my family. I always miss them, but I especially missed them last night. I’ve spent 29 New Years Eve’s with them. This one was different. At midday, I’d have told you the telly would be rubbish and I would rather have been with my parents at the watch-night service.

All evening I missed them. All evening I was restless, thinking of a friend hundreds of miles away at a watch-night  service with their family in their city, and another at a party, others still were with family, or chilling out with boyfriends by their side. I longed to be anywhere but here. Fed up, I asked my carer to help me get into bed.

Still restless an hour later, up I got, searching the channels for something to watch. I saw Alan Carr make a right idiot of himself on his own show, smashed and swearing, a humour-full self-depreciating kind of drunk. One of his guests, I am unsure who, quipped that most hosts of most shows would use ‘fake’ booze, but not him! By this point, the show was in the midst of an end-of -year quiz, which required Carr to wear a penguin suit.

I have NEVER seen anything like it. Well worth a watch on ‘4-o-D’. Anyways, next moment, Carr’s on the floor and all panelists rush to his aid. Queue jokes about ‘accidently-on-purpose’ falling so the pretty girls would come to his aid. Wrong gender, obviously! He’s only just up on his feet when over he goes again. Eventually, Jack Whitehall and someone else, perhaps Jonothan Ross, wrestle Carr out of the suit. Even this is worth a watch, honestly! I wished I were in the audience, belly-laughing along. It’s not something I would usually have watched, switching on only because a friend wrote about how funny the show was.

All too soon, I was hunting for something else to watch, and decided to try Jools’ [Holland’s] Annual Hootenanny. Instantly I remembered a good few years ago, making a fuss because I wanted to watch the show rather than BBC Scotland’s coverage of Edinburgh’s New Years Eve Celebrations. That year however, I was reprimanded  rightly by a parent for being so rude, and put in my place, truth be told, it was not my thing. This year however, there was such a party atmosphere I felt as though I could almost have been there, dancing in my chair to the music and listening to the anecdotes from celebrity guests.

When it came to the countdown, I mouthed along with the audience. Just as 2013 arrived, I jumped due to an explosion of sound from my right; FIREWORKS! On the screen. the party continued, as did my jovial mood. One by one, friends descended on my Facebook page to wish ‘Happy New Year’.

If you’d asked me again, where would I rather be, I’d have said, nowhere, oh nowhere, but here.

‘what, only 3 things?’

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This post is based on the weekly writing challenge from 31/12/12

For a procrastinator like myself, this challenge is perfect. No time to waste… and 3 months to get tore in (before the world explodes!) Well, that’s the premise, anyhow. Three resolutions came to mind instantly. Two, I make every year and the third is a New New Years’ challenge. 

Challenge #1: There will be less of me this time next year (I can live in hope…)

The first is similar to that of many women in the developed world. This is the year i will lose weight. My reasons are personal. So’s I can move around much more easily, be in much less pain, and have more energy; the knock-on effect would hopefully ensure a clearer mind, therefore making next two challenges easier. John Bishop is on Jools Annual Hootenanny on the tele and has just announced his New Years resolution is to “get fat and throw pies at thin people” — Now there’s a challenge! 

Challenge #2 : Disciplined Disciple

I guess it’s natural to feel dissatisfied with myself in ways others I had no idea I was lacking in, many people could say that, I guess. The more specific aim of this is to manage to read my bible and pray at the beginning of the day, every single day, If I was honest, I’d say I manage this at some point in the day most days, but this year I plan to set my alarm early every morning and listen to UCB’s prayer and praise and have my quiet time. I feel so much better when I do. For me it’s all about cultivating better habits. which would hopefully in turn help me be more disciplined in other areas including food, exercise, and money, to name three I am concerned about. 

Challenge #3: To write every day

Since I bought a basic Kindle I‘ve begun read more widely. Books on prayer, thought-life, 4 different short daily devotional texts which I interchange or read at least three of, I’ve also started reading about women in the bible, and I am sure there are other topics on my kindle. One of the main things I started to do this year was to write seriously, with encouragement from dear friends, and family. I began to write for The Big Bible Project, I started to Tweet, (which is a form of writing, I guess) and, of course, I also started my blog, with encouragement from others. Very recently, I now also write for the lovely people at Bible Reflections. 

When taken together, all of that is a great start. However, in the coming year, I’d really like to build on this. I’ve begun to read Jeff Goins book You are a writer, so start acting like one. In it he writes of the need to prioritize writing every day, by eliminating distractions and writing sacrificially  dropping other other interests to make more time, where necessary. I was more than a little aware of how difficult this would be in my own situation given my circumstances, but I see how important it is. WordPress stats told me I only wrote 62 times this year, but there are more than 300 more days than that in a year, Of course, I wrote for the other projects I have previously mentioned, and occasionally also used suggestions from ‘The Write Practice’ and published them in the comments section when feeling brave! However, I plan to become much more dedicated this year, health permitting of course. I am aware that I may have to sacrifice more sleep… but so be it. 

Here’s to the New Year! Happy 2013, dear readers, especially to my ‘followers’ who read my blog regularly and encourage me with my writing. I couldn’t do this without you!