Category: post a day

My lovely Godly Gran!

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I’ve not had the energy to post in the previous few days, or else other things have taken priority. I have thought about this particular post, and I think I’m ready to write it out of my head. I love this daily prompt from the 17th asking about mentors. I am both fortunate and privileged to have had a few wise and Godly people in my life, including but not limited to my Mum, My friend who is also key-holder and tablet-overseer, among other things, and a number of friends. My Gran though has been there for me through thick and thin, as have my other grandparents, and my parents, and for that I really am Blessed with a capital ‘B’. Since my Grandfather went to be with Jesus when I was about 15, I’ve gradually got to know my Gran in a different way. One step removed from my parents, but just as reassuring  and a wonderful listener, we have had many conversations over the years, including many debates, and times when we ‘put the world to rights’.

If I have done anything which my Gran has felt is out-of-order, she will tell me straight. She has also mopped up many tears, and along with others, prayed for me every single day. I will never truly know the results of all those prayers this side of Heaven. However, times such as when I have a big fall or whatever, I have known God’s peace, and it’s never been as bad as it might have been. The same goes for day-to-day health. By rights I should have more hospital admissions and infections than I do, given my medication and so on, but I am convinced all those prayers have kept me well.

There have also been times when, choked with emotion or a breaking heart, my Gran has prayed with me over the phone, or just after the phone call has ended. Times when I have been unable to pray for myself. She has also when need by reminded me of what has gone in the past, things I’ve been though or come through, things God has brought me through or times he has provided.

The one lesson that sticks in my head, above all is that Gran has taught me to be thankful. Even in the darkest of days, to find three things to be thankful for. It is something I am still learning, but I do so know the importance of it now. I am glad for her forbearance with me in the times I have been out-of-order and the times she has spoken her mind in love. I am thankful for these times also. I guess it’s all these things put together combined with wise, Godly wisdom which makes her a kind of mentor really. Mostly, she’s Gran, and I love her to bits! I am truly thankful for her, and all that she’s taught me and all the fun times we’ve had too. Hopefully there will be many more times to come.

I’ve chosen to schedule this post on a Sunday as this is when I often specially think of her, singing praise in Church to her Lord and Saviour Jesus, whom she loves very much. Unlike me, Gran has a wonderful singing voice 🙂 I’m hoping I can visit her at some point this summer, as a visit is long overdue. Those of you who read this blog who are Christians, please can you say a prayer of Blessing for her after you’ve read this?! Thank you!

not your average memories…

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Wherever I write about food it’s never that well read. I don’t know whether I lack the skills to adequately describe it, or people don’t expect me to write about it, but this time this post is to do with food. For me though, the important bit is the people I am sharing my favourite meals with. I generally love something I have not had to make myself!

My favourite meal about 4 months ago was fairly simple. I was at my favourite pub, at a table at the back of the restraunt, in the corner. Someone I thought I was in love with was holding one of my hands, and chatting away, leaving me free to eat with the other hand. To save myself some embarrassment  I had picked finger food I thought I could eat with one hand. Perish the thought that I might have to spoil the first date/meal out/pub date by asking my date to cut my food for me! I had taken a risk and chosen messy food. Risky strategy for someone with cerebral palsy. Dare I take a risk and say there is something a bit sexy about messy food?! (TMI??!!) cheese, nachos, salsa, sour cream, guacamole. A huge plateful meant there was no need for chips, a starter or a desert.

I do not remember what we talked about. I just remember the general things. How it felt to finally hold hands, to see the face the voice belonged to, to have the opportunity to do such a human thing and feel ‘normal’. The food sounds remarkably plain, even if you add in a half of draught cider. In my opinion, good company can make the plainest of food taste amazing, especially if it’s something I make for others and it turns out well, no matter how simple it is. It is often such a delight to do something for other people for once, instead of me being served.

I have no idea how long we stayed in the pub. I remember the minutes we waited for the taxi. I will spare you the details, save to say I was glad I hadn’t eaten a massive meal when my date decided it might be fun to lift me. We are no longer in touch, because things came to a natural end. I hope one day I get to have a first date with a gentleman who may be ‘the one’ as this person did not prove to be. For now though, I remember it with fondness and satisfaction, and somehow separate from the rest of it.

The next time I went to this pub, I went with friends, and had what was my favourite meal from my childhood. SCAMPI, (shrimp?) and chips. Homemade scampi no less, and the obligatory half pint of cider. It more than just satisfied my hunger, as it proved to live up to the memories too, of countless childhood fish-shop suppers. Hot, salty and delicious. I wonder who I will visit my favourite pub with next time?

From Nothing to Something

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I am dreaming big dreams…

Daily Prompt: A Plot of Earth

.You’re given a plot of land and have the financial resources to do what you please. What’s the plan?

Wednesday’s daily prompt is a ‘no-brainer’ for me.  I immediately knew what I would do. My church has looked for land for sometime. Not just to do the obvious; build a church but also a new kind of community centre where people can go to spend time there, or groups can meet. There’s not anything else like this in the area. There is not much to do otherwise. There is a small café run by a local church. A Godsend. There will be the new health and well-being centre too which is partly funded by the supposedly broke local council. Perhaps this will fulfill some of the need, who knows. Even so it can’t meet the dire spiritual need.

People need to know they are loved

There a lot of elderly people round where I live, because everything you might immediately need is in a compact area, so there’s no need to walk far. A small supermarket, two doctors surgeries, good local bus links. You have to go anywhere, really to be able to do something. There is a small outreach thing for older people who I considered volunteering for, but I don’t think that is enough. In winter, lots of people are in even more need. In the winter of 2010, lots of people had no way of getting basic food shopping and heating, as many seem to have pre-paid meters. I’d love it if we were able to provide extra groups for elderly people, just somewhere for people to go, have a cup of tea and some company, maybe get help or advice. No agendas other than being there for people. It would let me set up a group for disabled people too, as there is no accessible venue which is not in a church, the local community school being adverse to ‘religious people. I don’t know what else we’d want to set up.

We are fortunate, that in general we have somewhere to meet on a Sunday. It’s award when that goes wrong, and I know church as a whole would love to be able to do more. At the same time Church is full of busy people and I am not sure we would have time for all this. We know though that there are many people in need on the estate that just need to know the Saviour’s love and acceptance  more than meeting basic needs like providing food, or debt advice or a listening ear. In the absence of a land-fairy, I will keep dreaming of a transformed place of life, hopefully in this life, and not just in the next, as we are called to live sacrificial lives. One day…

The meaning behind the name

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I’m a few days behind with the daily prompts and today’s is rather too personal. I decided to answer one from the 11th instead. It was actually Carer B who gave this blog it’s name. I am not as good at these things as they are, and I wanted something original that wasn’t kind of arbitrary. They’re are HUNDREDS of blogs which focus on the disability, illness or wheelchair in the title or use the blog to rant with and nothing else; so I was more determined that I wouldn’t do that. I also wanted a hybrid which could talk about lots of things not just my different circumstances and so sat n all that took of from there…

If only they could see me then…

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London
London (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

I guess I would say I have had a few surreal experiences in my life, given my precarious start, and the diagnosis which said thinks like I wouldn’t walk or talk, maybe be basically a adult-child in a chair. at eight months old, I was 6 months behind,. mentally, and it was anyone’s guess whether I’d catch up or not.  Catch up I did, but only after 4 years of intensive medical care, operations, thousands of pounds worth of therapy, a few years in a ‘special’ (needs) nursery and more besides.

Ordinary things others achieve have been momentous for me, as they have been for other children with cerebral palsy, or experience of congenital disability in general. After that there’s the really ‘out there’ moments; snapshots in time where I’ve almost had an ‘outer-body experience’… I’m both in the moment, and watching the scene from above. These would include the rugby union lesson in P.E. in primary seven, I was good at it, me who wasn’t expected to walk; but the real subject of this post is the award I got when I was 17 for the highest marks in the Health and Food Technology exam in Scotland.

I got to go down to London to the Royal College of Physicians  and meet Princess Anne, and be part of a celebratory lunch, banquet style. I remember very well the ‘Library’ where the presentation was. It was just beginning of the fur-ore surrounding the ‘Harry Potter’ franchise.  I remember walking into the room and thinking it really did look like something out of Harry Potter, dark mahogany bookcases from floor to ceiling, wooden floor, and a cavernous room. We also got treated to a visit to the ‘London Eye’, and I remember a coffee at one point which was the size of a small bucket. I also remember the flight down to London from where I lived in Scotland, and not liking it much. BA staff also tried to tell me they’d lost my wheelchair. that would be because I didn’t own one at that point ! Snapshots in time, that I know happened, but still feels somewhat surreal, two University degrees later. Every-time I see her in the crowd at Murrayfield to watch Scotland play rugby, my mind wanders back to that day. Maybe I’ll get to meet her again one day, though it seems unlikely. Even if I do, it still will not top that day in the 18th year of my birth. If the doctors present in the first year of my life could have seen me then, it would have been surreal for them too!

 

Scotland, the farm, and the common denominator

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I find the prompt for this post post is interesting, to write the first word that comes into my head, when I see the words home, soil, and rain. It suprised me very much that when I thought of home, it was Scotland that came to mind, not where I now live. It’s been a long time since I was up in Scotland… in fact, I am struggling to think when I was last there. I think it was perhaps a little over a year ago. I was supposed to be there in a few weeks, but I will have to delay it for a few weeks at least.

It is no surprise to me that I thought of the farm as soon as I saw the word ‘soil’ as I used ti volunteer for the horticulture project, and spent many hours pushing seeds into soil or cleaning old pots for reuse. I miss the volunteering, but not the soil. Conversely, I wish I had more of a garden than the one strip of soil outside my window.

‘Rain’ or rather the frequency and volume of rain is one of the few things my birthplace and current home have in common. Years ago when I moved to my current city, rain used to much reduce my homesickness. Indeed, I would be quite pleased if the sky were to pour now, and clear away the snow!

Dancing Queen

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At first, I had some difficulty thinking of a particular skill for today’s daily prompt. Then it hit me. I have always always I want to be able to dance. I remember school discos in embarrassment. Scottish country dancing practice in physical education was much worse as I was forced 2 dance with my 121 helpers when the whole thing was difficult enough. This was a reminder of just how uncoordinated I was. On top of that none of the boys would dance with me.
This didn’t change much as I got older. While I was at university I went to so many ceilidhs that to my surprise, I I began to learn steps. The encouragement of most of the boys was an added bonus. Each time I danced with on ofthem often they would slow their pace and tell me I was doing great. Meanwhile, the other girls would be spun around at breakneck speed, often hurtling to the floor, resulting in ‘Chinese burns on their arms.
Many years have passed and I have gradually forgotten the steps. Fortunately occasions when I need them are few and far between these days. I would still love to be able to dance properly. Several years ago I was at a conference where there was a teenage dance group. One of the girls was partially disabled as a consequence of physical abuse. However, she danced so fluently and with such skill that you soon forgot her disability and l was left awestruck. Her perfomace was the highlight of the day for many and left them in tears. How I longed to be able to dance like her.
This longing have never left me but surprisingly increased as the years have passed. I am comforted by the fact that one day Jesus will give me a new body. I will never feel any pain or age and will have no limitations. I cannot wait for that day when I will finally now what it feels like to be able to dance like that. I cannot wait. Of course Jesus gets the first dance!

Ice cream yummiest food ever oh and. The memories

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Either of those. Love unusual flavours like lemon sorbet or pistachio. I always have a tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream in the freezer. I used to love the ‘Baskin Robins’ shops with all those flavours to choose from. No ice cream for me though, as I’m trying to keep my new years resolution…!

I’ll always remember these things….

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Image

Let’s get the tough ones over with, shall we?!

This is another post where I could write an epic! There’s been quite a few teachers who influenced me for the better or worse. Starting on a bad note, there have been teachers mostly nearing retirement who made life difficult for me, probably without meaning to, although my parents did go in and talk to one of them.

There have been several who made a difference, including an English teacher at high school. I don’t think they particularly encouraged me with my writing, I just remember them cos I got on well with them. There’s another English teacher who I sent a Christmas card to and ask after because they go to the same Assembly Hall as my grandparents. Another teacher who I really liked is one allegedly ran off with a pupil of another school a few years after I left. I felt so sad, for one reason and another, when I heard that.

Mr G!

My favourite, teacher of all has to be Mr Grant, who taught me for a few months in my final year of Primary School. He left because he got a promotion to Assistant Headteacher, in a different school in the region. We all loved him. That year was a turbulent one for me. My class contained more pupils than was allowed, so they had to split us up somehow, and I was one of the ones left, with people I didn’t really get on with at the time, as well and the same teacher my parents had to go in and talk to. In the end, I got moved classes because the school’s reason for keeping me behind was reason for complaint and I moved. It was such a horrible time. The teacher was hurt I think, but was horrid to me, and then so were the pupils in the class I moved to who said that the teacher hadn’t wanted me in his class but had no choice and all these things. All of this still stings now, and how many years was it?! Heapies and Heapies!

Anyway, Mr G was an AMAZING teacher, the kind who should have one an award. I remember getting extra help with P.E. by being allowed to practice netball in the school hall at break-time, and once scoring a goal in the playground! I also got extra help with Maths. I will write soon about some of the early years, but I wasn’t supposed to finish primary school at all, especially in maths, so the extra help then, and with the maths/reasoning side of Biology classes in 4th year at high school from the wonderful Mrs B made SUCH a difference.

Mrs P!

Primary School was not the same without him, though in that last year, the rest  taught by a job share with Mrs F, and the headteacher, who went with us on our class trip to an outdoor adventure place. i remember snapshots of that week well, good and bad, but do not wish to go into that here! The bit that sticks in my head is that Mrs P was fabulous that week but later showed the school photos (on acetate and OHP!!) of me reaching the top of the climbing wall, and absenting and the like. I’ll leave you with that thought….

friends, family and favourites

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oooh, this is awkward…

Today’s daily post is an awkward question to answer, as I don’t actually have a favourite person, if we’re talking ‘significant other’ as it were. I talked this over with a friend, and they say said, why didn’t I immediately say Jesus was my favourite person?  True enough, that’s what I should have said. As a Christian, I should  put Jesus first, before anyone or anything, my first love. Time I walk away is still harder than time with Him. I can answer the question a different way…

Jesus should be ‘my favourite’?

 

I know, looking back He’s enabled me to me walk through so many difficulties in the past few years. Things I’ve already written about, including failing my teaching degree, being ill and trying to pass a Master’s degree. Add to that, complicated major surgery, becoming a full-time wheelchair user, starting to need carers two-three times a day, and managing The Bag. There’s no way I’d still here without Him and I know He’s there for me every moment of every day, and in the happy moments too. In these times I’m reminded I am to rejoice in everything, and have joy even in the tough times. I’m still learning those things!

As I’ve written before, many of my friends are my favourite people, along with my parents. I still feel quite dependent on them, really. Odd, considering I live independently, and for the most part, have done since 2001,  That said, I owe everything to them, for lots of reasons, and often miss them. My Gran’s another favourite person as we’re quite close, and she’s a kind of mentor to me.

 

waiting

 

Maybe, just maybe

who else? Well… I haven’t met them yet, and they haven’t met me. That is. if there is someone, or if God has something else, something he considers better for me. These things aren’t easy to write. Traditionally, there’s a focus on family, in churches, and usually, Christians who hold similar views to me marry young. My parents try to encourage me with anecdotes of women they know who are older than me and still faithfully waiting for the person God has for them, and if they do not show up, they will not settle for less. Oh how I admire their discipline. I know I don’t want to compromise  but sometimes the temptation is great.

which is ‘better’; single or married?

 

According to some friends I’m good at being perceptive about people in their lives, but by my admission, sometimes hopeless with my own. I’m also aware, if I marry the wrong person, being with them, and coping with all my health problems would be hell. It feels like so much pressure sometimes, and a bit of a relief to stay single. Other times, I’d like the someone special… especially when I look at friends who have found ‘the one’ but at the same time, it hits me that I should keep waiting because it might be worth it eventually. I’m hyper-aware of the tendency to ‘over-share’… enough now.