The day(s) I (almost) ‘kicked the bucket’


Almost, but not yet…

I have no clue what the 11th item on my bucket list is. (Today’s Daily Prompt). I don’t even have a bucket list! This even strikes me as odd. I’m not entirely sure why. My best guesses are that I’m not that ambitious. I’ve never had a wish to see the world, perhaps because I struggle with things like travel sickness. I’ve no idea what people would normally put on a bucket list. It’s also perhaps because in general, I’m more chilled than most about the end of life thing. I almost died a few times as a baby, as I was 12 wks premature and very ill, needing operations as a tiny baby. I’ve also been in a car accident, which I wasn’t badly hurt in, but the only reason for that is there was no traffic travelling in the opposite direction, or I may have been toast. Most recently, I had a life saving operation; the one which gave me the bag on my tummy. I’ve had to face it, which is part of why I’m not afraid. I also know where I’m going when I do die, the bigger part of why I’m unafraid.

So, what’s on a bucket list?

If I were to have a bucket list, I get it might include things like getting a book published, eventually, visiting friends in America, and I’m unsure what else. So over to you! What would be on your bucket list?


two days in…

the days that changed my life

Holding on… Just!

I’ve never seriously made resolutions before, so I’ve never kept any. I’ve recognised things were lacking, such as the lack of discipline in my life, and I’ve fretted over it, at just the same time as a sermon on discipline in the believer’s life began on radio. Spooky… call it fate, call it a God-incidence… but I never seriously acted on it.
Two days in, how’s it going? Well, the third resolution (to write every day) is hanging by a thread! The intention was there, but due to the time difference. the ‘new post’ suggestion wasn’t there before I had to go out. I didn’t have inspiration of my own either as I often do.Once I got back, I fell asleep in my wheelchair for the whole evening… so frustrating! Getting up this early is my way of making up for that!

What about Resolutions one and two?

The other resolutions, to take weight loss seriously, and to have bible/prayer time every day are going ok. When I chose what I was going to eat yesterday, my carer was impressed at my menu choices of cordial and soda, and soup. What she doesn’t know is I finished the banana bread when I got home. Somehow that doesn’t feel so bad because it has a mixture of wholemeal and plain flour in it rather than just plain flour, so I’m sort of excusing it!
I did have Jesus time yesterday, though I kept falling asleep. I kept battling, so that I read a bit before I slept again rather than going straight back to sleep as I would before. Bit of battle already! Unfortunately, that’s how my life is at the moment. Intentional things get done if I manage to stay awake. Not impressed that I lost a whole evening to sleep as I have a fast approaching deadline, but there it is, no going back, only forwards!
Here’s to keeping the three resolutions this year. Just hanging in there. but that will have to do. I’m off back to bed, and hopefully to sleep. Otherwise I’d only raid the fridge again, as I did before I starting writing this. What did I just say about resolutions hanging by a thread?!


Daily Prompt 2/1/13

’10…, 9…, 8….’

A picture of a firework just as it explodes into multiple colours in the night sky.

On the stroke of midnight, I was where I (almost) always am. If you’d asked me at midday if I would be where I wanted to be I’d probably had scoffed and said I’d rather be anywhere else, but preferably with my family. I always miss them, but I especially missed them last night. I’ve spent 29 New Years Eve’s with them. This one was different. At midday, I’d have told you the telly would be rubbish and I would rather have been with my parents at the watch-night service.

All evening I missed them. All evening I was restless, thinking of a friend hundreds of miles away at a watch-night  service with their family in their city, and another at a party, others still were with family, or chilling out with boyfriends by their side. I longed to be anywhere but here. Fed up, I asked my carer to help me get into bed.

Still restless an hour later, up I got, searching the channels for something to watch. I saw Alan Carr make a right idiot of himself on his own show, smashed and swearing, a humour-full self-depreciating kind of drunk. One of his guests, I am unsure who, quipped that most hosts of most shows would use ‘fake’ booze, but not him! By this point, the show was in the midst of an end-of -year quiz, which required Carr to wear a penguin suit.

I have NEVER seen anything like it. Well worth a watch on ‘4-o-D’. Anyways, next moment, Carr’s on the floor and all panelists rush to his aid. Queue jokes about ‘accidently-on-purpose’ falling so the pretty girls would come to his aid. Wrong gender, obviously! He’s only just up on his feet when over he goes again. Eventually, Jack Whitehall and someone else, perhaps Jonothan Ross, wrestle Carr out of the suit. Even this is worth a watch, honestly! I wished I were in the audience, belly-laughing along. It’s not something I would usually have watched, switching on only because a friend wrote about how funny the show was.

All too soon, I was hunting for something else to watch, and decided to try Jools’ [Holland’s] Annual Hootenanny. Instantly I remembered a good few years ago, making a fuss because I wanted to watch the show rather than BBC Scotland’s coverage of Edinburgh’s New Years Eve Celebrations. That year however, I was reprimanded  rightly by a parent for being so rude, and put in my place, truth be told, it was not my thing. This year however, there was such a party atmosphere I felt as though I could almost have been there, dancing in my chair to the music and listening to the anecdotes from celebrity guests.

When it came to the countdown, I mouthed along with the audience. Just as 2013 arrived, I jumped due to an explosion of sound from my right; FIREWORKS! On the screen. the party continued, as did my jovial mood. One by one, friends descended on my Facebook page to wish ‘Happy New Year’.

If you’d asked me again, where would I rather be, I’d have said, nowhere, oh nowhere, but here.

“For Your Perusal”

“For Your Perusal” Interesting word peruse. Almost as though you are looking for something, searching diligently in the text you are reading. Perhaps something complicated that requires your full concentration. It’s almost too much to think about this early in the morning! Though I did see a BBC documentary once that said the best “thinking” times […]

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