What about my future?

Tuesday’s daily prompt was one of the easiest I’ve ever answered. It was as follows:

Write a six-word story about what you think the future holds for you, and then expand on it in a post:

Only God knows what future holds

I find this an enormous comfort. I don’t have to strive anymore, because God’s got it sorted. I have no idea what the future holds, but He does… and he know’s what’s best.

That’s the simple truth. If I were to have a childlike faith, as I should, I should accept this and live by it without wavering. However, I am not as faithful to my father God as he is to me…! This is something I am learning over time, as I make mistakes, or try to have things my way. Were I completely disability and illness free, maybe I would have a husband and children of my own by now… or maybe not! Only God knows things like that, or whether I will ever be stable enough, and have enough support to have a job, and a career, or a husband! I am learning to develop a heart of gratitude for the many, many things I do have, from food, running water, flushing toilet and a roof over my head, a little money in the bank and money in my purse. This makes me in the richest percentage of people in the world. I think sometimes the disability lobby forget these things, though who knows what will continue to unfold with the welfare ‘reforms’. Things may well be completely different in a couple of years… or maybe not. I guess this is part of the reason it is important to trust God for the future. However, it is just as important to trust Him in the present, as I am to live for God now.

My life now also has consequences for the future; my eternal future. On Monday, I published a post about Invisible Illness Awareness week, and the scripture I quoted as helping me through the tough times is also relevant here:

Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory. (Col. 3: 1-4)

Scriptures like this help me keep going through the tough times. I have to admit, I am not superhuman, there are days I struggle so much with physical, emotional or spiritual pain. I am finding things tough at the moment but it helps to know that this isn’t the end though. What I do now will have a bearing on then. Just recently, the last 6 months or so at least, I didn’t see things as clearly as I do now. When things are bad I try to think of others more disabled than me or who have a particular need and pray for them, or to read a devotional by Joni Earekson Tada or a Psalm from my bible. It may be a song, or a prayer on Christian radio. It’s what Tanya Marlow called ‘the truth that comes in sideways’. (I highly recommend her post, which you can read here) I’m off to find some of that now to help me get back to sleep. I got a few hours rest before midnight but have been awake for at least 3 hours now!

p.s. I can’t remember where I read or heard this, but someone once said life is like a tapestry. We see only the picture on the front, but behind the scenes, at the back of the tapestry is the One who holds all the threads and can see the to bigger picture. One day, I will see the bigger picture too, but for now, I have to live in the present.

 

Thankful,but for what?

Something to get you thinking…

I suspect the following may well be controversial, but it got me thinking so I wanted to share it. It talks about gratitude and what we should be giving thanks for. “Your affliction falls well within the overarching decrees of God. It comes from His wise and kind hand and for that, you can give thanks. In it and for it.” — Joni Earekson Tada, from the Daily Devotional Email 19/11/12 Here’s the link to the original post.

 

Does God ‘give’ disability, or just ‘allow’ it?

So, does God give us our afflictions, in my case physical disability, and chronic illness, amoungst other things.Joni’s reasons for reaching her conclusion is that the daily grind with her quadraplegia brings her to God minute by minute,  Another reason she gives is that God’s Word asks us to give thanks for everything so for her the ‘everything’ includes being thankful for her disability. The sovereignty of God means her suffering through her disability is not somehow separate either, as God is also Lord of her disability. Also, instead of having her quiet time and then getting on with her life, it forces her to live out her faith wheeling close to her Saviour, as i read the other morning in “More Precious than Silver Daily Devotional e-book.

I do absolutely recognise the logic of her argument. If God is Lord over everything, that includes my disability… but to give thanks for it, specifically?! I do thank the Lord he is using my disability to teach me how to depend on Him for everything, and how to ask others for the help I need without becoming so dependent on them, that I shut God out. I recognise it is God who has walked me through the four years since my operation which gave me a bag on my tummy, and eventually meant I needed carers, and an electric wheelchair amongst other things. Indeed, it is God who gives me my very life, my very breath, and if he chose to, he could take me home to be with Him in an instant, but did he give me my disability, something which gives me so much pain, and tiredness, and so limits my life? He is using it for his Glory, and to help me to help others, as you can read here, if you haven’t already.

if He did not give me disability, then how could he include it within His plan for my life? Indeed, God knew what each day of my life would bring before I was even born. (Psalm 139) I cannot reconcile this with God giving me my disability though. I would so like to know everyone’s thoughts on this, and work through it together. In the meantime, here are the verses from God’s Word that inspired the text of which I write.

19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 5:19-20)